Podcast for Singers
Overcoming Fear to
LIVE LARGE - Unapologetically!
Join your painfully honest, humorous, big-hearted host, Fearless Singer Mel Lathouras, to talk about what’s holding us back from living our creative, musical dream lives.
We will undo untrue narratives that stop us from singing and expressing ourselves fully, creating our dream projects & music businesses. And talk to absolute bosses who are doing this work and succeeding.
Let's rise together!
Do you know that fear of making mistakes? And making them publicly… It's what holding us back from the stage or showing up in life as our full creative expression.
In this episode, I encourage you to do the thing you're scared of (singing, telling your story, presenting, speaking up) and aim to make mistakes.
Go on… Deliberately and purposefully make mistakes.
Mistakes are fun.
They’re an opportunity.
You could make something super cool out of them.
A new musical idea - you never heard before.
A new reframe or take on life or creative expression.
An opportunity to love the shiz out of our humanness.
Relish the softness of self-forgiveness.
It’s an opportunity to feel good, to laugh and connect with your audience or whoever is in front of you.
We have some incredible things happening in the Fearless Singer School this year! If you are a Singer (or aspire to be), you have to be a part of our inspiring community. Jump on to FearlessSingerSchool.com and check it out!
If you loved the episode, I would be so grateful if you shared it on Insta or leave a review! And I LOVE to hear from you - DM me with what resonated with you!
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Mel Lathouras 0:01
Get a welcome to episode 27 of the Fearless Singer Podcast. I must admit, I was nearly not going to do a podcast this week. And I thought, yeah, you know what
I've got a lot of things to say. But I'm going to try and condense it in a short amount of time. My name is Mel Lathouras and Fearless Singer podcast is really about inspiring people to take the centre stage of your life, whether it's the centre stage, like literally, or figuratively, as well, and to overcome those fear barriers around singing and visibility. And yeah, this episode is pretty much going to be about that, that fear of visibility, but also that fear of making mistakes. A big part of that fear of visibility, is this fear that you're going to make some epic values in front of other people. And, you know, what do you think about human behaviour? Oh, my God, the fear of mistakes is rampant, not only in, you know, the creative, the creative space, or you know, the the entertainment, you know, making mistakes on a stage, but also making mistakes in the office. It just feels like, I don't know, I haven't been in an office for a very long time, or a classroom for that matter. I left high school teaching a couple of years ago. But yeah, there was always just this fear of, oh, no, I'm gonna step up. And that fear of like, you know, I've got to always cover my bases, because, you know, I'm gonna stuff up, and everyone's gonna see what a massive failure I am that kind of thing. Anyway, if that resonates, please keep listening. Because I think it's this fear of making mistakes is, is what stops us from really living our full, beautiful creative expression. Whether it is you know, going live on an, you know, Instagram Live or a Facebook live to, you know, show us how long you've been working on or standing up on stage, or, in whatever capacity, it stops us from showing up the way that we want to show up. Yet, mistakes are beautiful. Mistakes. Well, it's so funny, the first thing that pops into my head is when, you know, you hear a lot of some of the best people you know, in your life have have come about because their parents made a mistake, they will the best mistake. So we'll start there, that can be a beautiful thing. But also to in the jazz world, when we were playing and we stumbled on a note or a sound that's outside of the key centre, that's exciting. It's like, oh, okay, I'm gonna make something out of this, you build a little bit of tension, and everyone's like, and then
there's a release, there's a, you know, you find yourself back into the key centre, and everyone's like,
but it's riveting, you know, so there's this idea that mistakes can actually be moulded into something completely unique and beautiful. So it's an opportunity for, for creativity, coming up with a sound that you've you've you couldn't have even anticipated. So there's that reframe on a mistake. But also to when we make a mistake, even in our friendship circle, you know, we've said something out of line, or we've we've, we've acted out of fear, or ego, or whatever it is. And we acknowledge that and we say, oh, gosh, I see what I've done. And I'm really sorry, you know, and does that forgiveness that you get from from making mistake. More importantly, it's self forgiveness is beautiful. And also to I have this thing, you know, when we particularly on stage, if we make a mistake on stage, if we forgive ourselves instantly, if we can get into that practice of self forgiveness, particularly when we're performing, your audience are going to forgive you. And if they don't, that's actually a them problem. And you generally speaking, they're going to forgive you. And if there's one person that won't forgive you for making mistake, well, then they're not really your ideal audience member So we can, we can just let them go with love. So yeah, there's that opportunity for self forgiveness, but also showing our humaneness and our authenticity to the people that we love and getting that forgiveness reflected back to us. That's a beautiful thing.
Miss mistakes are just an opportunity to experience our humaneness
because, you know, I don't know
Unknown Speaker 5:00
about you, but perfect. There's no such thing as a perfect person, you know, as to be human is to be flawed. But there are beautiful flaws. And it makes us interesting. And as storytellers when we take that onstage, that makes us entertaining and an interesting way, you know, it's compelling.
Unknown Speaker 5:26
Mistakes are beautiful. They're an opportunity for growth. They're an opportunity for new creative expression.
Unknown Speaker 5:36
And it's really powerful
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to get into the practice of making them purposefully
Unknown Speaker 5:44
and especially in that creative context. So just to give you an example, this week, I went live on Instagram.
Unknown Speaker 5:53
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a lot of you know that I find it really painful to play and sing at the same time. I'm not 100% competent on
Unknown Speaker 6:06
you know, piano even though I've got like, three I'm like Liberace here.
Unknown Speaker 6:12
And all guitars, oh, my God, I, you know, my guitar playing is is is basic. But I can I can, when I just let myself play, I can make some really interesting, cool sounds. And I'm starting to sink into that a little bit more that actually, I don't think I'm necessarily super basic guitar. I, if you told me to play a D seven, I probably wouldn't be able to do that. But that's okay. I don't have to be that kind of, of player when it comes to, you know, playing guitar. I can be a sound experimenter. And that I'm totally happy with that.
Unknown Speaker 6:50
Yeah, so I went live on Instagram, and I was playing simply the best. So playing that on piano and singing. And I got to a part I was going great. It's really feeling it sounded great. And a few people popped onto the live that you know, I think highly of, and then I started go, oh, slippery fingers.
Unknown Speaker 7:18
But I was able to come back to a calm centre. And I used it as a as an opportunity to say, hey, look, I'm making a mistake. But look, I'm finding myself Wait, I'm finding myself back to what I'm supposed to be doing. And then it was a beautiful, vulnerable moment, you know, of showing, you know, showing a floor and being perfectly okay with it.
Unknown Speaker 7:43
Practising that self forgiveness. And what's been reflected back to me, I haven't had, I haven't, I haven't had any troll comment yet. And I always say that if someone trolls me, then that's like a marker of success. It's like someone cares enough to be a shithead to me.
Unknown Speaker 8:03
But yeah, I did, like everyone who watched that went, Oh, my God, that was such a great moment. You know, like you, you took us through that, that process of what you're experiencing, and you know, you, you brought yourself back. And that was a beautiful thing. So embrace making mistakes, in fact, just do the thing that scares you, whether it's standing on stage, you know, telling your story or singing or whatever it is, and aim to make mistakes, just aim for it. You know, and be okay with it. Be loving towards yourself, and recognising it for what it is it's an opportunity.
Unknown Speaker 8:44
And this has been a massive theme for me for the last couple of weeks. In fact, I had a dream. This is what prompted, you know, this this week of talking about mistake making, I had a dream that I
Unknown Speaker 9:00
was to go on stage and I was to play a song on the guitar and knowing you know, I've only got a few chops. And apparently, in the stream, I was meant to be giving a live, you know, to 45 minute minutes that show and I was like, I don't even know that many songs on guitar like, you know, and then yeah, I passed out in my dream because I was so like, are so frightened, you know, and thinking about my poor little fingers and how they're going to be sore and, and I woke up and my mate was tuning my guitar for me ready to give to me and I was about to walk on and I just had this moment of like, Do you know what? Yeah, sure. Okay, I can't really
Unknown Speaker 9:42
play guitar for two hours. But you know what, I can play little bits and I can sing, I can sing. I've got a great voice. I've got stories to share. I'm, I'm funny. You know, like there's more than just this. There's all of this. There's all
Unknown Speaker 10:00
Have, there's so much in me that I can share. And it's going to be no problem. I'm going to be okay. And as I walked on as the classic dream scenario goes, you wake up, like, Oh, I was actually looking forward to that after all. And yeah, prompted this exploration into all what is it? What is it that what does that dream represents, and it was clear that there's still a fear there of of making mistakes on stage. You know, as much as I do, do this internal work, there's still this fear that, you know, something's gonna go wrong, and I'm gonna look like a bit of a dick. You know. And so it's been a couple of weeks of exploring, exploring that. And it's interesting because I've got a big show. So I'm gonna release I'm currently filming this eighth of June, Thursday, but I'm going to release it. Tomorrow morning, Friday night, the June and I've got a gig tomorrow night or tonight at the jazz club, and it's a little Mel gig with Harvey blues. And I'm doing some interesting things I'm I've turned a classic punk song into a bossa nova.
Unknown Speaker 11:13
I've got this thing where I like to.
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I like to,
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you know, make really hardcore punk songs sound a bit naff.
Unknown Speaker 11:24
I don't know why I have this drive to do that. But it's there. And I'm following that curiosity. So there's a Ramone song. Now that I've now again turned into a boss, I've turned the Buzzcocks song into a buzzer, it's always a Basa. Cut seem to when I was trying to get into like more of a sort of a New Orleans feel. But it didn't quite didn't quite happen. But I'm still gonna keep persevering. Don't you worry. And there'll be more punk songs. I'm going to do this too.
Unknown Speaker 11:52
Yeah, learning a few different jazz songs. But I'm also going to do that really bloody, scary thing that I dreamt about. Not I'm not going to play the guitar. But I'm going to play piano and sing. And that's been like a lifetime dream to be able to do that. I'm going to do it tomorrow night. Or tonight, if you're watching this, Friday, the ninth of June, at the jazz club. By the way, currently, there are five seats left. So if you actually want to come check out the ticket link, just go to Brisbane jazz club and check it out, you might be lucky enough to get in. And I think also too, if you can't get a seat inside, I'm sure you can, you can sit outside, but also it's winter. And who wants to do that, like, seriously, but that I think this heat is. And you know, you could also just like sneak into the bar as well. I didn't say that, by the way. I didn't say that.
Unknown Speaker 12:49
So, yeah, that's that's where this is all sort of this, this kind of theme that I've been experiencing for the last couple of weeks has has come to this point of reckoning, where I will do the thing I'll play and sing.
Unknown Speaker 13:09
There's so much stuff that's been coming through this week, it's been on real. I've been way more creative. I've given myself time to sit down at the piano and just play through songs and learn songs. And really not just learn songs, but like fall in love with songs, like really find a connection find that, that, yeah, that real love for everything that I'm doing. So that's been really nice. And I've also been just writing little bits and pieces
Unknown Speaker 13:44
are in the shownotes I'm going to link the Instagram Live of that, you know, where I played simply the best and saying, but I might even also hook it up to YouTube. So because I know not everyone's on Instagram. But also I'm going to I'm going to link you to a little just a snippet of a song, it's 30 seconds. And it's around this theme about making mistakes. And it was just a little cute pop song that just came out of me today. And as I was musing on this idea of, you know, how we spend our whole life, trying to avoid pain, and, you know, avoid making mistakes, which is going to lead to the said pain and actually out the mistakes that we've made in our life have broadest took us to where we are now you know and if we're still alive and kicking, that's a beautiful thing. You know,
Unknown Speaker 14:40
we are who we are right now for a reason. And it's it's wonderful. You know, it depends on how you look at it but need to be literally on the bones of your ass.
Unknown Speaker 14:55
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if you're still, if you're still, oxygen is still
Unknown Speaker 15:00
Going inside of you, and you're still, you're still kicking if you can, everything can change for you, you know, and it's exciting. It's a challenge. And I know that that sounds really fucked up if you're, because I'm sitting here in a house, and you know,
Unknown Speaker 15:18
I've got food in my fridge.
Unknown Speaker 15:21
But I've also been on the other end, you know, I've been there. And I've just trusted that things will work out, and they always do. And this is actually my, my dear friend, Kevin Rainey,
Unknown Speaker 15:37
who started the production company girl from Greece, she's going to be singing Greek song tomorrow night, or a better go song. So that's great blues. And it's told dt. And basically, the meaning of the song is, you know, doesn't matter where you are in life, you know, you'd be plummeting in the deep of the ocean. If you just couldn't, if you can just find that single thread, know that there's always someone who's going to cast a net,
Unknown Speaker 16:07
there's always a net there that's going to to, to find you. And if you can just find that little bit of thread. If you can find it, and follow it, it can just completely take you out and take you where you need to go.
Unknown Speaker 16:23
And I think I live a little bit like that.
Unknown Speaker 16:26
I resonate with that deeply. And, you know,
Unknown Speaker 16:32
that's what I that's my belief system.
Unknown Speaker 16:36
Hmm. Anyway, all of that. That's the episode for this week.
Unknown Speaker 16:43
Just always be looking for that little thread, and believe in yourself and just know that mistakes are good. They can lead to great things.
Unknown Speaker 16:54
And you're wonderful, you know, you really are because because you you are you and you don't have to be anywhere at this stage of your life, you know, and you just trust that you are where you're meant to be. And yeah,
Unknown Speaker 17:14
I was about to say
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the words of the beautiful song that Tina Turner Sung. And it's that you're simply the best,
Unknown Speaker 17:25
How corny to end on that, but it's so true, you're simply the best and I'm going to link that that little performance that I did on Instagram and if you want to come and see me do that live that's tomorrow night or tonight if you're watching this on the ninth of June, at the Brisbane jazz club. And I think next episode I really want to talk about Tina Turner. I'm going to do a whole episode dedicated to her because she's somebody
Unknown Speaker 17:53
who followed that thread and completely changed the course of her life and is nothing short of inspiring. On that note, take lots of care lots of love.
Unknown Speaker 18:09
back I'm back I just wanted to say I'm going to put that little 32nd pop song just onto on to this video so enjoy pets I still haven't finished it so just know that it's the first half of the song
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look at how many
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Transcribed by https://otter.ai