Podcast for Singers
Overcoming Fear to
LIVE LARGE - Unapologetically!
Join your painfully honest, humorous, big-hearted host, Fearless Singer Mel Lathouras, to talk about what’s holding us back from living our creative, musical dream lives.
We will undo untrue narratives that stop us from singing and expressing ourselves fully, creating our dream projects & music businesses. And talk to absolute bosses who are doing this work and succeeding.
Let's rise together!
In this episode, I delve into the core teachings from our Saint Tina:
❤️🔥 Age is irrelevant – if you have a dream, go for it!
❤️🔥 The power of keep showing up and doing your work (on a spiritual level and a practical level – don’t quit singing)
❤️🔥 Whatever society projects at you, please don’t believe it; know who you are, your strengths, and your worth and rise above it!
❤️🔥 You don’t need to be classically “beautiful” to succeed in the music business – attractiveness is an energetic state you can switch on. Here’s the interview for context.
❤️🔥 Know exactly who you are and stay true to yourself.
We have some incredible things happening in the Fearless Singer School this year! If you are a Singer (or aspire to be), you have to be a part of our inspiring community. Jump on to FearlessSingerSchool.com and check it out!
If you loved the episode, I would be so grateful if you shared it on Insta or leave a review! And I LOVE to hear from you - DM me with what resonated with you!
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Mel Lathouras 0:00
Get a welcome to an episode of Fearless Singer Podcast. This is episode 28. And I just want to say a massive thank you to all those who listen to the podcast. Honestly, I'm so sorry that this is a project that has lasted this long, most of my creative ideas tend to have a short shelf life. And I think that's just part of, of creativity that happens. And I'm just excited that this has been one of those consistent things. And I just have to say, I just really enjoy this. I love this medium. It's a legitimate way of talking to yourself. And it's a massive bonus that people listen, and I just want to say thank you for tuning in. And yeah, and always commenting and messaging me I really love hearing from you. And thank you for sharing this episode. Or these episodes, I should say with people that you know will benefit. So, yeah, had no say thank you. Thank you. Thank you very much. This episode's gonna be special to me. I absolutely have always been obsessed with Tina Turner. And just recently, over the last few weeks have been really diving a bit deeper into into her music and her life since her passing. And
she really was a walking saint. And there was so much that we can we can learn from her life and the way that she she did live fish, which she did so beautifully. And this episode I'm going to delve into that what we can learn from our beautiful St. Tina. And it's not going to be like a biography. If you want something more biographical, please watch Tina on Stan is amazing. It's a brilliant documentary, some brilliant footage of her, particularly in the younger years with you know, Ike, and Tina and and then later as well. And she really was
she was so wise she was almost prophetic in a lot of ways. And yeah, I just want to go through and
the different points the different things that I've drawn, just over the last few weeks of how what we can learn from from her and her amazing
not just her prolific output as an artist, but just just again, how she, how she
was, you know, how she, she went through her life and what she did to, to soar to the great heights that she did. And starting from, let's just start at the point of that at the age of 41. She completely changed her life around at 41. She started life again with absolutely nothing.
But you could argue that she didn't have really anything. Anyhow, she was born into poverty. She was born on a cotton farm. And at a young age, she experienced neglect, his mother ran away and left her. She was in an abusive relationship with with Ike Turner, and was pretty much his subordinate. She didn't own anything. And then at 41, I think before 41, she started to learn about Buddhism. And then that gave her the strength eventually to be able to escape from Eich who was severely abusive. And she had nothing when she started again, I think I just said that sorry, I'm so repetitive, kind of work on that.
But she kept her name. She kept the Tina Turner name, which by the way I fought her for but she managed to keep that name because she knows she knew she couldn't build. You know her business with that she could get income from being Tina Turner.
And she started again, and she you know, was doing, you know, really sort of pokey
TV gigs. She picked up anything that she could. She became a regular performer in Las Vegas in the cabaret circuit. And she kept showing up she kept doing what she does. And eventually she was able to have this very chance encounter with a manager. A younger manager through it was a thorough David Bowie connection. And yeah, and then the rest is history. He saw something in her and knew
How to re package what she had. But really, he just brought it back to who she was, which is this incredible rock and roll singer and performer. And yeah, helped her, I guess, come more into herself. You know that that sort of aesthetic edginess that she was naturally anyway. And she then went to the top she from 41 to 50. At 50 years old, she was doing packing out stadium concerts doing 250 concert tours all around the world had the energy of one of those, what is it the Duracell or the Energizer Bunny, you know, the,
her younger band members would beg her to like, please stand and slow down. But she naturally just had all this energy. She just kept, kept going kept playing, she was energised by what she did, by her, her mission, her vision, her service, which was to perform, and she really was that, you know, it was never like it, if you watch all of her interviews,
she did what she did, because it was something that was inside of her, it was a gift that had been planted inside of her. And that was, that's just what she did, like a fish swims, Tina Turner sang and performed and dance like an absolute demon. And she was driven by that by this idea of of service, it was never self seeking.
Unknown Speaker 6:37
So that's a huge thing that we can learn from that story alone, we can learn that age is so irrelevant. Now, let's just think about the timeframe. So it's, it's an it's racist America, you know, so this is a woman born into systemic racism and the poverty around that.
Unknown Speaker 7:02
Unknown Speaker 7:04
Unknown Speaker 7:06
absolutely, you know, the, the work ethic she had in the Ike and Tina, oh, my goodness, just even looking at that alone. And then coming from that into like, being in your 40s or early 40s. And again, she was seen as this old, you know, she was, she was black has been, and no one wanted to touch her.
Unknown Speaker 7:33
There was even someone in a record label that like the underdogs, tried to back her but then got fired over it. No, no one wants to no one wanted to borrow but because remember, it was the 80s we know about the 80s, particularly in the music industry, very, very superficial, you know, with the fashion and aesthetics and that idea of, of wealth, and you know,
Unknown Speaker 8:00
and despite all of that, she,
Unknown Speaker 8:05
I'm sure it's on some level, you'd have to be aware of that. That's, that's what society is projecting onto you. But she rose above that, because she believed in herself.
Unknown Speaker 8:19
She believed in the gift that was planted inside of her. And
Unknown Speaker 8:27
she just kept going if she just kept showing up. And she kept putting this intention out to the universe, that you know, that she would, she would get to this level, you know, and she would meet the right people and the right people did come along, and completely changed the trajectory that she was on. So she went from doing these Daggy Las Vegas circuits to you know, like I said, doing the sold out concert world tours, and
Unknown Speaker 9:03
being an absolute superstar. She was an absolute superstar in her 50s.
Unknown Speaker 9:13
Unknown Speaker 9:15
age is irrelevant. Age is irrelevant. That's the greater message of that. So if you're sitting here listening to this going, Yeah, I'd love that. That sounds all great. But that's Tina Turner.
Unknown Speaker 9:31
Just borrow her confidence and borrow confidence, borrow her book, hack, that mindset. She she she had
Unknown Speaker 9:42
projections coming from all angles of society, but she still rose above it because she knew who she was.
Unknown Speaker 9:49
Add on. And you think I'm just saying she knows who she is like, you know that kind of very, you know?
Unknown Speaker 9:57
Who on that human level she knew who
Unknown Speaker 10:00
She was on a spiritual level, she knew she was source. She was sourcing human form because she was doing all that study into Buddhism and the metaphysical. So she knew that she was having a spiritual, she was a spirit having a human experience, she knew that she could change the trajectory, because she knew that she could create her own destiny. So that's another angle as well.
Unknown Speaker 10:27
She also knew her uniqueness. So if you watch interviews that she did, people would, gosh, oh, my goodness, just watching some of those interviews some of the questions that people could get away with back then now, it's still pretty bad, but back then. So sex is so racist. So you know, classes are just gross. You know, I think someone asked her whether she was beautiful. And she said, Actually, I'm, I'm attractive. I'm very attractive, I know that I'm attractive, I know how to be attractive. And she said, I know that I can talk to anybody. Doesn't matter that colour doesn't matter what their power status, I know that I can hold my own. And I can be attractive, and I can win people over.
Unknown Speaker 11:18
So that's another thing that we can learn from her. The other thing is, and I've touched on this, but I just want to repeat it again, this idea of showing up just showing up showing up showing up and then also discerning so I'm by Oh, look, she was an absolute Enigma, when it comes to the energy that she had. Because you see her on stage, she was just phenomenally
Unknown Speaker 11:45
wild in, in a beautiful performative the way she danced, the energy was just electric. So the amount of energy that she has is probably beyond the average Mo, you know what they were all, you know, but then, you know, who knows? That's, we can't quantify that. But she did seem to have a lot of energy. So look, I'm not about proposing that we burn ourselves out and just do all these gigs and concerts. And, but what I'm proposing is that back there, she just kept showing up, she kept showing up and look, there might be on one hand, she had to because that's how she made her living.
Unknown Speaker 12:28
Unknown Speaker 12:29
goodness me, she could have quit and did done something completely different.
Unknown Speaker 12:36
But she just kept going, she kept doing it. So the other thing is, is to
Unknown Speaker 12:43
discern whether, you know, because sometimes you might actually feel genuinely unwell. Your body is giving you messages to slow down, you can't do that gig?
Unknown Speaker 12:54
Are you too tired? It's been a big week at work or whatever it is
Unknown Speaker 12:58
one thing to discern, is it am I actually fatigued? Or is this just resistance? Because I'm just talking from experience and you know, the again, you know, your own body, you know, your own limits. But I know that I have, I never want to leave my door. I never want to leave to go kick I but I've pushed myself out of there. Because I know it's just resistance.
Unknown Speaker 13:27
I know, it's just a little bit of resistance. And actually I don't push myself out, I actually do a bit of internal querying and getting to the bottom of it. It could be that, you know, you're worried about like, for me, it's worrying about technology, or it's worrying about the logistics of getting to a gig. And sometimes I just have to coach myself through that.
Unknown Speaker 13:51
But it's worth the question is, am I actually tired?
Unknown Speaker 13:55
Am I actually feeling under power? Or is it is this just I just, you know, there's something like, I don't think I'm good enough. Or, you know, I don't feel like I'm prepared enough for you to ask yourself those questions.
Unknown Speaker 14:08
And then coach yourself through that. If it's something along the lines of not feeling good enough, then you can say things like, actually, you know what this gig, it doesn't really matter. You know, I'm just going to do my best. For instance, this week, I did. Well, I just put out a newsletter yesterday, talking about mistakes and that we we
Unknown Speaker 14:31
as performers, we do them all the time. But as long as you forgive yourself, then your audience are going to forgive you. And you know, I made some epic mistakes on my gig, but I turned it into comedy because, you know, I just realised this is just a conversation. This is still making mistakes on the piano and singing is actually entertaining as fuck. So I'm just gonna, I'm just gonna keep
Unknown Speaker 14:53
following this thread of, of, you know, I'm giving this experience of hey, look at me. Oh,
Unknown Speaker 15:00
Ha, making mistakes. And this is quite amusing.
Unknown Speaker 15:05
So, yeah, that's it, you can just kind of reframe things. Oh, yeah. Okay, I'm not feeling quite up to standard yet. But you know what, it's just a conversation with my audience, I'm just going to be honest with, you know where I'm at. And I'm just going to
Unknown Speaker 15:20
just take a little bit of the load off, for this pressure off that it has to be perfect, because it doesn't have to be perfect, because this is a journey, you know, we get better as we go, you know, we're only, you know, we're only as good as our next gig, you know. So there's just different rephrase that you can help yourself in that in that.
Unknown Speaker 15:40
The other thing we can learn from Tina is the fact that she knew who,
Unknown Speaker 15:48
like she knew her voice, she knew
Unknown Speaker 15:52
that if you she, she even said that, if you put me in a jazz band, I'm still gonna sound like Tina Turner. And I freaking love that.
Unknown Speaker 16:02
Unknown Speaker 16:03
I just love that you could put her in whatever context, it didn't matter. And she would, she would still sound like her. And she was so proud of that. And this is from a, this is from a person that was told when they were young, that they will one ugly, and to that they didn't have a very good voice.
Unknown Speaker 16:25
So she grew up not actually believing that she had much of a voice, but she was like, Oh, I don't care, because this is fun. And I, this is what I want to do, I'm just gonna keep doing it.
Unknown Speaker 16:36
So, ya know, your own uniqueness, and do that. And there's another great moment on the on the documentary, Tina on stand, where, you know, she had a lot of songwriters work with her, and they wrote these beautiful pop songs. And one of them is, you know, what's love got to do with it, which was actually pre recorded, it was, it was actually very pre released by an English like one of those kind of Abba risk, you know, bands that kind of had that same sort of aesthetic. And it was so vanilla. And when she heard that she was like, I don't know, if I can actually do this, like, you know, it's it's very, very sad.
Unknown Speaker 17:18
But she's like, look, hang on, give it to me, I'm just going to do it my way. And then you get this wonderful, her Tina esque phrasing, you know, so she was able to reinvent and give songs new life with her own essence. So that's really cool.
Unknown Speaker 17:41
So just in summary, we honestly we we can learn so much from her one is just know who you are, believe in yourself, it doesn't matter what is being projected at you by society, or those around you, your family and friends, you know, you more than anyone else. So and whatever it is, that is, if you have a dream to do something, whether it's singing, you know,
Unknown Speaker 18:09
at a stadium gig, it doesn't matter how big it is, if that has been planted inside of you don't think you're delusional, that's been planted inside of you for a reason. So you believe that that can happen for you. And start being open to opportunities.
Unknown Speaker 18:28
And, and even though that voice that goes, Oh, come on, can't get Take your hand off it. Don't listen to it. Because it doesn't matter. Like even if you don't sort of see yourself as a professional singer, you could end up on I have one of my dearest friends ended up singing in like a small gospel choir with the Rolling Stones. This was about five or six years ago, I think or maybe longer time is weird for me. But you know, you, you just don't know how you're going to end up on that stadium stage. But that could potentially happen for you if you believe in it. And if that's been planted inside of you, it's been planted in there for a reason that's going to happen. So please believe in yourself and know that that's possible and be open to opportunities. If it's been planted inside of you to do more performing, do more singing, do more, whatever it is, it's there for a reason. Start to see yourself as actually my day job is my side hustle. Actually, that's my side hustle. That's how I does pay my rent, but my real career my real purpose is my music. So switch it switch the script around, flip it and do that. And you know, and you just honestly the more you tell people and put stop putting yourself out there as a performer and a singer you people will go oh, you know, are you trying to get get Joe to go and do that gig that you know, maybe you're, you know, one of your workmates knows another person that works for another company and that
Unknown Speaker 20:00
Team is they need a singer for some kind of, you know, corporate event. And suddenly they're like, Yeah, great. Oh, yeah, I'll book Joe, you know. So this is how it happens. It's just by you putting yourself out there as what you do. And you keep showing up. Even if it's just you're doing jam nights, here and there, it doesn't matter, you are a singer, you're a performer, you get up on a stage and you do the thing. You tell people that that's what you do. You promote yourself on your socials, and then you start, you know, people are beautiful network around us starts to work for us. And that's, that's how I got started. That's how everybody gets started. So believe in that.
Unknown Speaker 20:44
If you are, if you're sitting here and going, I'm too old, you tell your your critic, inner critic.
Unknown Speaker 20:53
It's such an illusion, you're not too old, the moment you're too old is when you're in the ground. That's the only time it's a bit that was a bit dark, got a bit dark there, sorry, guys.
Unknown Speaker 21:07
You're never too old, it doesn't matter what part of your life, you can turn it around, you can you can do, you can reinvent yourself any moment, you know, and do the thing that you want to do.
Unknown Speaker 21:20
And if you're not if you like, and this is, I, you know, this is something that needs to be brought up. If you're sitting there going, um, to, you know,
Unknown Speaker 21:31
to do with your appearance, I'm too fat or to this, you also tell that voice to eff off. Because it doesn't matter
Unknown Speaker 21:40
what you look like you can make yourself attractive, and that's an energy.
Unknown Speaker 21:47
And being attractive is beyond the aesthetic, it's the energy, it's the energetic force around you, you bring people into your sphere, you know, so you can just push that one away as well.
Unknown Speaker 22:04
I will talk more about that in the in a future episode. That's a bit of a raw topic for me. But I'll talk about it because I think it's important because for many years, I also I held myself back from performing because of you know, my bigger body. And it was if I had to regret anything that would be that. Because I was beautiful. I was beautiful and attractive. And I knew how to be attractive. And
Unknown Speaker 22:36
so just believe in whatever your outer,
Unknown Speaker 22:41
you know, meat sack, this is what I call it is you just you don't let it stop you from doing whatever it is that you want to do. And remember, it's not it's actually not our bodies fault. It's society and what it's reflecting at us. It's it's society's fault. So you know, you've got a beautiful body does love it, love it, how it is right this moment.
Unknown Speaker 23:07
It keeps us alive.
Unknown Speaker 23:09
And I think on that note, I think I'm going to end it there. There's so much we can learn from Tina Turner. She was our honestly a modern day saint, you know, and she knew how it all worked. And she went for it. She did it. She lived a beautiful life. And
Unknown Speaker 23:33
she rose from
Unknown Speaker 23:36
her abuse. It didn't define her who she was she was
Unknown Speaker 23:42
she was not that she was not a victim.
Unknown Speaker 23:45
And she made an incredible legacy for for herself and for everyone around her. And I'm very feel very privileged to have been born into this lifetime so I could
Unknown Speaker 24:01
Unknown Speaker 24:04
So on that note
Unknown Speaker 24:08
until next week, I'll drop an episode next Wednesday.
Unknown Speaker 24:13
I'm gonna stick to the Wednesday now this this episode drops today Friday but yeah, we'll see Wednesday.
Unknown Speaker 24:21
And I'll talk to you soon. Lots and lots love. Take care
Transcribed by https://otter.ai